Perfect Self-Expression

Wednesday, June 22, 2022
Featuring: Rev. Sue Frederick
Final Week of the 8-Week Series, "The Game"

Click HERE to download this transcript.

Click HERE to view Rev. Richard Rogers’ guided meditation during the service.

I’m just so honored to be here; I fell in love with this community in 2018, when my husband and I came to visit, because he had been diagnosed with cancer. And the only place that could help us was Mayo Clinic here. And so we came here on our visit to check it out, and we decided: We are moving to Phoenix for Unity of Phoenix and for Mayo Clinic. And it has been the most fabulous experience to be a part of this community. Thank you all so much!

So when Rev. Maraj and Rev. Richard told me that my topic tonight was going to be on “Perfect Self-Expression,” I thought, “Well, there’s a divine order in that!” Right? Because my first book was I See Your Dream Job! And I talked all about how we each have a purpose and a path and a divine expression, and how we have to be in alignment with that if we’re going to have our best life; our best relationships; our best work.

And so I opened the book that’s part of this topic; I’m doing the 8th week of Rev. Rogers’ studying a book called The Game of Life and How to Play It. And my topic: I looked at the definition the author, Florence Shinn, gave it. And she says, “There is for each person a place which he or she is to fill, and no one else can fill. Something which he or she is to do which no one else can do. It’s their destiny.”

So how many of you feel that you’ve kind of found your path? That you have found — whether your perfect career, your perfect life — that you know who you are? And know your path? Raise your hand. See, everybody! I love Unity! [Rev. Frederick and congregation laugh]

But the truth is: We get lost down here. And you all know that. We come in with a perfect soul mission — a perfect self-expression — and then we hit these reinvention points. And often they’re from grief, from heartbreak, from career change … all these things that we’re so terrified of experiencing. And then we go through them, and amazing, magic miracles happen. By going through those reinvention points, we actually get closer to our true perfect self-expression.

So I asked some of my friends here in the community how they would define perfect self-expression. So one person said, “It looks like authentic-aligned, showing up as our divine, intuitively-guided, truthful self.” Isn’t that beautiful? We can all leave now, because that was it, pretty much. [Congregation laughs]

And then I asked Kate, because I love my Kate! And Kate said, “It requires truth and trust in one’s self to share who one truly is; to thine own self be true.” And isn’t it amazing how easy that sounds? [Laughs] When it’s actually the hardest thing we come here to do!

Because we get here, and we are these divine-being creatures: pure soul, pure God. And then we get “educated”; we get socialized; we get taught how to behave; we get taught to focus on our left-brain logic mind … And so that left-brain dominance of our culture starts forcing us to lose touch with that beautiful soul inside of us that’s always telling us what is right and what is true for us. We can call that intuition; we can call that God-consciousness; we can call it just knowing thyself. But that never goes away! But the world can distract us from it.

And I’m old enough to know that we can think we’ve got the perfect path — the perfect life — and one day, it can just all explode. And I’ve worked with a lot of clients, and I’m just going to honor some of my grieving clients here, who’ve been through a complete reinvention because they’ve lost someone they loved dearly. How many of you have had grief in your life that totally reinvented your life? Yeah.

I always call grief our greatest spiritual teacher. I call her Divine Mother Grief [laughs]. Because once grief has broken your heart wide open, in one way it’s the most painful moment of your life. But in another way, it allows you to start digging within and asking those important questions: Who am I? Why am I still here if my loved one is gone? And what is my mission here now? What is my perfect self-expression? And those are the important questions. That’s what we’re here to ask and to search for!

And even career: I’ve worked with a lot of clients who had a great job and, all of a sudden, maybe the company went bankrupt, or they were laid off, or they were fired. And that is their dark night of the soul. How many of you have ever experienced something like that? Yup! [Laughs] And what happens then? We have to fight through our fear, through our angst, through our left-brain logic that wants to say, “Oh, my gosh; you’ll never get another good job! You’d better go take the most easy job that comes to you.” Whereas your soul is saying, “No! You came here on purpose! You have a mission and a gift!”

And I’m going to read to you a quote from my first book, I See Your Dream Job. “You didn’t come here to be someone else, or to hide behind anyone. You came to be you, laden with gifts and blessed with challenges.” I’m going to say that again: laden with gifts and blessed with challenges.

Because those challenges are the thing … they are the thing that wake us up. So really, when you look at what is perfect self-expression, it gets a little tweaked along the way. But each of you have a core spiritual gift. And you can call it … Maybe it’s humor; maybe it’s gratitude; maybe it’s sweetness; maybe you inspire people; maybe you make people laugh; maybe you wrap people in compassion and love. That is your core spiritual gift that never goes away, no matter what you face. And yet, your perfect self-expression is going to change a little bit.

So here’s an example. If you know that you are a great writer, for example, you may think that starting out your career writing about health or something is just going to work for you forever. Because we’re kind of told once you find your thing, it’s going to stick with you. But you’re going to hit a bump where that career’s going to crash and burn; I promise you this is true! We are all here to change and grow. But at the end of the day, it means — perfect self-expression — means letting your light shine.

And that brings us to that beautiful Matthew 5 quote: “You are the light of the world. A city built on a hill cannot be hid; no one, after lighting a lamp, puts it under a bushel basket, but on the lampstand, where it gives light to all in the world.”

So how’s that light shining for you? [Laughs] Do you all ever feel that that light gets dimmed in your own heart sometimes? Yeah; of course it does! That’s part of our human journey. And how many of you have been through moments where you really felt like that light would never come back? Yeah. I think we all have, unless you’re 10 maybe, or 12. [Congregation and Rev. Frederick laugh]

But for those of us who’ve been around for a while — and I think a lot of us here are at least over the legal drinking age, right? [Congregation and Rev. Frederick laugh] We know! We know that we have to have ways to move through our reinvention points.

And so my favorite thing to talk about is Emilie Cady, who’s a Unity writer that we all know about. She wrote — in the late 1800’s — wrote a book called Lessons in Truth. She was great friends with the founders of Unity. And that book; man, if you ever want to feel inspired! If you ever want to feel just lit on fire with your heart and with God-consciousness, go read Emilie Cady’s books!

But in that book, she writes about this thing she calls our “Secret Place of Most High.” And she says — let me just read how she describes it: “It is the point of mystical union between man and God, wherein we know that God abides always at the center of our being.”

And she says it’s a place of meeting between the Christ consciousness at your center and your human consciousness. And it’s a hidden place that no one outside can enter. Just you and God.

Is that the most beautiful thing? And you know what that’s about? That’s about the power of meditation: of sitting in the silence and listening to God. That is our great gift; that’s what gets us through these reinvention points. In other words, when everything seems lost — when we feel like we’ve lost our perfect self-expression — we tend to want to go out in the world and maybe talk to people about it. [Laughs] Maybe watch a lot of TV; maybe do all these other things that are distractions.

But the great thing is: If you just pursue your own inner knowingness — go to that Secret Place of Most High — to meditate … I always say you’ve got to meditate at least once a day here! You’ve got to sit in the silence and listen to the God-consciousness within your heart. That will get you through whatever you are facing.

The other thing is that I have this three-step approach — that I use with clients and write about in my books — for how you find your way again when you hit one of those bumps.

And the first one is my favorite; it’s KNOW THYSELF. But the cool thing is that there’s so many ways in our world and our culture that you can really explore who you are. So you can decide that you’re going to go to therapy. You can decide that you’re going to take traditional career tests. Or you can do … I like alternative things. I love numerology; I love astrology. There’s enneagram; divine design; long walks in nature. Right? All these wonderful tools that we can use when we hit that moment that we’ve got to say, “Wait a minute! Who am I now? How do I move forward through this?”

And in numerology I worked with clients for 20 years helping them look at their soul mission through numerology. And there’s so many great tools like that. And I urge you — if you’re ever hitting that “stuck” point in your life — turn to one of those tools and see if you can remember your greatness again. Remember your soul mission.

And the other one is USE YOUR INTUITION. Right? When we talk about meditating and going to the Secret Place of Most High, what happens when you do that is you get in touch with your intuition again. Your intuition is that quiet little voice inside. And, again, you can think of left-brain/right-brain. Because your left brain is going to say, “Be practical. Be conventional. Fit in. Follow the rules. Just do what people want you to do.” And your right-brain self — your dreamy, spiritual, creative self — is saying, “No! There’s something better! There’s something better for you! Listen to me.” And we have to quiet the mind to get in touch with that.

And we also know — many of us know in this room — that, when you meditate and quiet the mind and trust your heart, you can even connect with Spirit on the other side. Not just God-consciousness, but your own departed loved ones.

My husband died when I was 29, and many of you know that I have a very dominant right brain. So he’s been coming back to see me and tell me things in dreams for many, many years. And I love that! You know. I love trusting that, when Spirit visits you to give you a dream or to give you a sign, that you trust it; that you listen to it. That you say, “My right-brain higher self is good with this, even if it’s alternative. Even if it’s not the way the conventional world thinks.”

How many of you have ever felt that you had a visit from a departed loved one? There we go! Pretty much everybody! [Laughs] So that intuition is your sacred place. It is your sacred knowingness. And it will help you so much when you’re navigating towards your perfect self-expression.

The third piece is USING YOUR ENERGY. And I love this conversation. Because, you know, we all know that our positive energy attracts good things. And that, if we want to make a change in life, we’ve got to raise our energy. But the way I like to think of it is: We each have an energy continuum. And at the very top is who I call our “brilliant self.” That’s the one part of you that is fearless and powerful and doesn’t doubt yourself, and knows how to make a decision that will serve your highest good. Has no fear, no self-doubt.

And then we all also have the low end of that energy continuum. I call that our “pitiful self.” [Congregation and Rev. Frederick laugh] I always tell my clients you’ve got to name those parts of yourself. My brilliant self: I call her Aretha; she’s fearless. [Laughs] And my pitiful self is Sad Sadie. And what I’ve learned, though, is that we need both of those. We need to be able to express our negative emotions that live in the bottom end of the energy continuum, or we lose touch with our truth. We lose touch.

So, for example, Sad Sadie loves to stay in bed and cry and grieve. And loves to watch 1883 or any of those sad movies, and just grieve over losses. But my brilliant self, you know; she’s out in the world hiking and being peppy and friendly and outgoing. And she’s on the stage tonight! [Laughs] But the truth is: if we don’t allow our pitiful self to have its moments of sadness — of feeling that pain; of allowing it to come through us — it can cause a lot of other problems. Because it gets kind of stuffed away.

Like, you all know that there are some people who are kind of always forcing that very positive energy, but you can tell they have great pain inside of themselves. And so, you know, I always hope that they also honor that pain, because that’s part of healing. You have to feel it to heal it. And anybody who gets to be as old as I am definitely has to take some time to feel it to heal it.

And then, from that energy continuum, the way I like to think of it is: if you wake up and you’re feeling low or negative, but you still want to raise your energy, what are the ways you can do that? And what are the tricks? And the greatest, easy trick all you Unity people know is gratitude. Right? Feeling grateful for this beautiful place we live in. Feeling grateful for your friends. Feeling grateful for your loved ones. I feel grateful for my cats [laughs]. Whatever it is that brings that gratitude up in you, that is going to raise your energy on that continuum so quickly you won’t even know what happened! And suddenly Aretha is in charge of your life again. [Congregation laughs]

So your homework is: you need to name both of those parts of yourself — your brilliant self and your Sad Sadie, or whatever — your pitiful self — so you know who’s showing up when.

And in my family, when we were raising our kids, we would all … we named our brilliant self and our pitiful self. And it was so fun! Like, you know, my daughter would come home from school, having a bad day. And we’d go, “Oh, my goodness.” We had a name for her: Bertha. “Bad Bertha is here tonight!” [Congregation laughs] And it would make everybody laugh! And so it would raise the energy, and it would really help. And then my husband — whenever he hears the music from Out of Africa or 1883 — he goes, “Oh, my God; Sadie’s here!” [Congregation laughs] And he’ll come up and go, “What happened? What’s wrong?”

So naming it helps you understand you’re in control of it. You’re in charge of that energy continuum. And you can raise that energy and really get in touch with your brilliant self. And that brilliant self is who needs to make your big decisions for you.

So in summary, I just wanted to remind you: you’ve got these three steps to help you stay in alignment with your perfect self-expression.

Know thyself. Whatever it takes to know thyself, whether it’s numerology or therapy or counseling test. Do it! Just do it! And the second one is: Use your intuition. Your intuition is your flawless guidance system. But in order to access it, you have to meditate. You have to quiet the mind, because your mind is never going to be telling you the truth. The “monkey mind” … The way I see it is: when we’re souls in the Divine realm, and we agree to drop in here, they say, “Well, you know, you’re going to have to have one of those crazy minds down there that’s filled with anxiety and worry and negativity.” And so you go, “Alright.” And then you get down here and the mind becomes the boss. But that’s not how it’s meant to be. Your soul — your heart; your intuition — is always guiding you. Trust it.

And the third piece is your energy: using your positive, brilliant self to guide your life and make your choices.

And I wanted to share this final quote that I just fell so in love with when I was in ministry school. One of the homework assignments we would always have would be to pick a meaningful Bible quote and do a whole talk about it; write a paper about it. So I went through a lot of quotes in four years! [Laughs] But the one that really stuck with me that I think is a guiding force for all of us; it’s Hebrews 1:11: “Faith is the assurance of things hoped for, and the conviction of things not seen.” That is the key right there!

When we have that faith that all the things we hope for are on their way to us — no matter how grim things might seem right now — we are in alignment with our highest self: our God-consciousness. And when we have our conviction of things unseen, oh! That is the best! That means, whether you’re hearing from your intuition or whether you’re seeing a departed loved one, those are unseen things that you can have the conviction to have faith in as you navigate your way through this crazy world to find the highest level of your perfect self-expression.

Thank you so much!

[Congregation applauds]

Copyright 2022 Unity of Phoenix Spiritual Center/Rev. Sue Frederick

Location and Contact Information

Unity of Phoenix Spiritual Center

1500 E Greenway Pkwy
Phoenix, AZ 85022
Phone: (602) 978-3200

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